I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16: 33

Have you ever felt something pulling so hard at your heart that you almost felt like you were going to tumble over into a pile on the floor? I feel that often, and then I often wonder why God gave me such strong emotions? Are they good for me? Why do people look at me like I've grown two heads when I express them? If they are unattractive, I should try to be more logical and stoic. Sometimes, I feel such emotions that, at times make me physically ill, or at other times hugely energized... Sometimes I feel that emotional people, because emotions are complicated, are the least understood, and sometimes treated like the plague. Now, I understand being responsible for your emotional responses to circumstances and not letting your emotions control you is right, important, logical,rational and GOOD. If I've heard one thing about emotions, that's the one I've heard the most. However, I just wonder if emotions aren't like every other misunderstood thing in our culture? People reject, mistreat, dislike, critique and make fun of things, people, and circumstances that they don't understand, because it makes them uncomfortable. I'm the same way with logical people. They make me uncomfortable because I don't understand them, they make me feel stupid when I compare myself to them, and then I don't want to be myself because it feels like the wrong place and the wrong time to be, Joie.  Okay, okay, so enough of the prelude to this blog...

Here is what I am learning. 

I am learning that I am not defined by my emotions, but that I define them. That it is okay to be who God created me to be, but also that I am having to encourage others to hold me accountable to God's Word, and to not let me get away with sinning just because, " Joie is emotional," which makes it understandable. Understanding sin is never an excuse for allowing it to continue. It is not a loving thing to do. It is an unrighteous thing to do. So, I would encourage you to lovingly confront me or any other follower of Jesus Christ, who's sin you are understanding and not holding accountable to the living, breathing and active WORD of God. Okay, let's be honest. This could get messy. There are moments, shoot, days that I do not enjoy, nor long to be made aware of sin in my life, and I am by no stretch of the imagination perfect, but I DESIRE GOD. And I know that He put that desire in me, and that He isn't about to let it go away. However, I am also really hungry for the Church to start respecting people they don't understand, loving them by holding them accountable to God's word, teaching each other, and striving to live in grace with a heart that is tuned into the mind and heart of Christ. And I REALLY want the Church to understand that often loving people includes confronting them. Telling them they are wrong, but that you want to help them, and not give up on them. 

One of my greatest fears is abandonment.  Fearing that I am really, truly unlovable and that one day someone will find out that I am as undesirable as I hope I am not, and that I will be left because I wasn't good enough, I didn't try hard enough, or worse that my best wasn't enough. That is one of the most special things about my relationship with Jesus. You see, the truth is that I am not good enough. My best isn't enough. And for that purpose, whatever the rationale behind it, I was taken in instead of abandoned... It's funny though that one of the deepest ties I have to Christ, is one of the biggest issues I deal with in my day to day life. The struggle to not live in fear. I HATE fear, and truthfully it hates me. It will try to destroy you if you don't tell it where to go. For this reason, I ask you to be mindful of how you say what you say to people, because you may accidentally be encouraging something destructive in them. The key is HOW you say what you say, if what you are saying ( I'm speaking accountability-wise) is in line with scripture. Not to just not say anything.