It's funny how the little things matter to us after all... I'm sitting at my desk at my parents house in my old room and reminiscing as I am looking through my old stashes. The desk itself is from an Amish shop in PA, which is perfect for me because, when I was younger, I was fascinated with their way of living and often dreamed of living among them to gain a better appreciation for their lifestyle. Each of the drawers in the desk are full of little things that I collected during my childhood...a tea box full of old stamps, a drawer with an old 39 cent can for bird food filled with rubber pellets that my Dad and Uncles shot at each other when they we kids. A small shelf filled with letters that I received form my cousin Emma during the four or five years that we were pen-pals, and another small drawer filled with stamping materials for letters ( wax, a stamp with a "K" on it for my Dads initial, and other things that I fancied would work for creating a signet ring of my own). Sitting atop my desk is a small birds nest that I found that still shelters a small blue egg in it,a four-leafed clover, a semi -starfish, a paper heart that my sister crafted for me, and a rose that my Dad gave me on Valentines Day several years ago when I had my first boyfriend ( I remember feeling so strongly about that one rose even though the boy I was dating at the time sent me two dozen roses...that one from my Daddy still meant the most).
It's amazing how those things still mean a lot to me...They are road markers in my life because they are the beginning of things that I still treasure today. My relationship with my Daddy ( who has blessed me with a wonderful view of my heavenly Father), my writing hobby and the other small things that I take pleasure in discovering because they are so often overlooked and their fine creations under appreciated ( my starfish, birds nest and four-leafed clover)... The woven birds nest reminds me of how the Lord said that He knew us before we were formed ( woven together) in our Mother's womb and all of the careful detail, love and time placed into it. The four-leafed clover is just fun because it is rarer that a three-leafed clover and it is a fabulous display of God's fun creativity. Finally there is my starfish...this sun-bleached creature has a broken tentacle but it still sits proudly beside the birds nest. Just as uniquely created, just as significant and lovely...I glued one tentacle back onto it, but you can't tell just by looking at it, and you know what the starfish reminds me of? Me. Died to self, bleached white in the radiance of God's love, glued together here and there, and still missing pieces of me that will only be restored to make me complete when I am with Him in heaven. I take pleasure in knowing that I am broken because I know that it means He is doing a work in my heart and He is drawing me closer and sharing more of His heart with me...Brokenness is not a bad thing at all, and though I have had my fair share I know that when I come to Him broken he is, as my sister Mia puts it, " Doing heart surgery. Taking the old heart piece by piece and replacing it piece by piece with His own heart." Is that not a beautiful thought?!!! A heart no longer my own wicked one, but replaced with something pure and whole and holy. What a humbling thought and what a painful process. What better surgeon to place my heart in than the one that invented the heart in the first place, and knows mine more intimately than I myself know it? It's the small things in this life that end of making the big difference...Piece by piece.
My soul waits longingly for the Lord....I will pour out my heart before Him because He is a refuge for me...
Psalm 62
